The death of a spouse may challenge your physical and emotional health. Sleeplessness, fatigue, loss of appetite, over eating, feelings of sadness or depression are normal. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing.

Things to do for yourself:

• Aromatherapy
  
• Bubble Bath
  
• Call a friend
  
• Don't confuse temporary setbacks for permanent catastrophes
  
• Exercise
  
• Feel your feelings
  
• Giggle
  
• Hug
  
• Indulge in something that makes you happy
  
• Join a support group
  
• Kick box if it makes you feel better
  
• Laugh- it is good for the soul
  
• Music
  
• No (it is okay to say no)
  
• Open yourself to new experiences
  
• Pride yourself on your resilience
  
• Quilt, knit, sew or do whatever craft makes you happy
  
• Remember, rejoice, reminisce
  
• Share your challenges and triumphs
  
• Talk to friends, family, and professionals
  
• Understand death effects people in many ways
  
• Value yourself
  
• Watch movies
  
• Xplore new vistas
  
• Yell if you want to
  
• Zen or any other form of meditation

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Depression:
It is important for you to do an emotional IQ check. Know you are not going crazy if you find yourself suddenly driving down the highway flooded with memories of your deceased spouse. Depression is normal and not pathological. You can, as psychiatrists Sidney Zizook and Steven Shuchter found, feel the same emptiness at 7 months as you do at 2 months. The key to your emotional well-being is to seek help and support.

Alcohol, Tobacco, and other drugs:
Research has shown that in times of crisis people are more prone to turn to substances for relief. This is a time for vigilance. Sleeplessness, irritability, rapid weight loss or gain are all signs of grief. After all, you are going through an incredibly challenging and emotional time. Do not be afraid to seek help whether it is a friend, a religious organization, or a licensed counselor or physician.

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Journal Exercises
Instructions: Some times journaling helps us put into perspective our lives and feelings. Many of the women that I have interviewed have found this to be a successful coping strategy. Take some time to write on the following topics or whatever occupies your mind.

• What are my sleeping habits?
  
• What are my eating habits?
  
• I could take better care of myself by…
  
• I think I'm going crazy when…
  
• I get support from…

Helpful Resources:

• Professional Groups
  
  • American Counseling Association: http://www.counseling.org/consumers_media/findacounselor.htm
    
  • Counselor Find: http://www.nbcc.org/cfind/
    
  • Association for Death Education and Counseling: http://www.adec.org/
    
  • American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/
    
  • National Association of Social Workers: http://www.naswdc.org/
    
• Other Widows
  
  • 9-11 Widows' and Victims' Families Association: http://www.911wvfa.org/links.html
    
  • http://groups.yahoo.com/group/widowed/
    
  • http://www.widownet.org/
    
• Alcoholics Anonymous: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

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